Stumbling toward the Light

Holy Shit

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 02:32:42 GMT

Yeah, that's about right - holy shit. I haven't written here in an age - and in that age a lot has happened - not much of which has any good to it, I don't think. FIRST: we're short a person at work, so I get lots more work to do. SECOND: We recently hired a secretary which I'm trying to train on some things - and its not easy. THIRD: I let a bill go from my surgery a year ago - and now all hell has broken loose with it, and I will be broke for a month. FOURTH: Financially fucked because of the check they put a hold on when I deposited it at my bank - BIG TIME SUCKAGE. FIFTH: And this is the big one - I feel farther from God than I have for a long time - for those who know me, that's pretty damned far.

So what's going well - ummmmmmmmmmm

I'll fill you in on that when I think of something. Say a prayer, friends - its not been fun lately living in my skin.

DB

Cold

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 20:06:55 GMT

OK, so somehow, God thought it would be funny to let me get a cold this week. I mean, really - this isn't a life-threatening kind of things, but its a nuisance. I feel like I ahve no energy, and I'm all stuffed up. I dunno what's worse - the cold, or the side effects of the drugs I'm taking for it.

In other news, I got my tax money back - yay! Now to schedule care repairs - boo! Work is interesting as ever - and I get more and more pissed at some things that I really can't control.

And then the old loneliness thing is still here - I really hate the life I'm leading right now, but don't know what to do about it. I need more friens or something, I guess. Anyway, there it is for now.

Car Repairs, Taxes, Ice

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 23:13:03 GMT

Hi all!

Let's see - car is working again - cost me $400, and another $450 must be done to it soon - once I get my tax money back.

Speaking of tax money - I input my W2 from the main church job into the tax program - and had a nice return of nearly 1200 dollars. Then, I put in my little part time church job - the Saturday night gig - return down to $660. OK, so I jumped a tax bracket. Woohoo! Meanwhile, I had hoped to buy a bed with tax money - instead of car repairs. But, I guess I should be thankful I have a couch to sleep on. My back thinks differently, but oh well.

We're supposed to get some ice tomorrow - hopefully no power outage, cause my whole apt. is electric. We'll find out. May really mess things up for Sunday - but, once again, we'll see - we may miss the bullet. Time will tell. Last ice storm we had knocked out power for me for 5 days...

Other than that, life goes forward. I have become more God-centered in my life this year so far, and I hope that continues. I've also had some rough times. 2005 has been interesting, and it's only just begun. In my life, I realize more now than ever my need for a Savior - and I realize how bad I really am in many ways. I still struggle believing that Jesus is enough to cover all of that - I know it, but I'm not sure I truly believe it. So, that's where I am.

Thanks for reading.

Car

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 22:06:41 GMT

OK, so I drive a little blue Hyundai car. Well, not this week - this week I'm driving a BIG ol' 15-passenger church van. Why? Hyundai decided not to start. Isn't that fun? So, the Hyundai is at the dealership where, after spending 90 dollars, they will be able to tell me what is wrong with it, and give me a call. So, I can spend 90 dollars for them to tell me I need how much in repairs? That seems to me to be a bit ridiculous - especially since it might be covered under warranty. Oh well, time will tell, I suppose. So, I get to drive really big van all over Gastonia and beyond until the car is looked at/diagnosed/fixed and I am frustrated/pissed off/broke. Oh well, such is life.

In other news - I'm off today - woohoo!! And I renewed my lease today for another year - yippee! So let the games begin. Tomorrow - snow and ice in the forecast, and two workshops and a mass to do - so I'll be busy as a beaver.

OK - guess that's it for now in my screwed-up life.

DB

Intro remarks

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 21:21:51 GMT

Hi! A little about me, then a little about the day it's been. First, me: I'm 30, single, male, Christian, gay, about 5'11", and a little heavier than I wish I were, brown hair and reddish goatee (see picture) I work full time as a church musician in a pretty large church, all things considered. Medically, I deal with depression and high blood pressure. Ummmmmmmm - I guess that's about it as far as who I am.

As for the day - Good Grief!! Let's see - car that wouldn't start yesterday still won't start today - even after attempting to jump it. Moving right along, called the dealership - its under warranty - they can't do anything about it until Monday at the earliest - so I have a "dead car" until sometime next week - and get to drive the lovely CHURCH VAN. YAY!!!

Rehearsals were tough last night - just hard to focus on things, and I was trying some new stuff, so it didn't go as well as I hoped it would - not too unusual for new stuff, I guess. I was a little frazzled with the car issue and some other garbage going on - so that didn't help matters at all. Tonight, well I get kiddos for an hour, then adults for an hour and a half. I still haven't picked an anthem for Transfiguration - I may just do Beautiful Savior (arr. Fettke) which I did two years ago. I don't have a clue what to do with the kids either - other than this is to be "fun music night" so I'll do something fun with them. Maybe pull out the orff instruments or something.

After that's all done, I get to proofread and print the Sunday bulletins. Some year they'll hire a new secretary here at the church - one retired before Christmas - but gave 6 months notice. Surely they could have hired someone in 6 months time. Still no lead pastor...so the fun at work continues.

Then I get to go home to an empty apartment. That's really been bothering me lately - kind of lonely. Oh well - there it all is. Another day in my life. Thanks for reading.

DB